Too Insane to See the Sun
by MidnightSunB2ST
Summary: "You force me to show you the extent of what you expect. You expect me to be crazy, so here, I kill. Here, I will shed blood, so I can get my words out. Here, I tell you, I loved him too. Why I killed him, you would ask. Why did we try to beat each other to death? Well, this is our only way of escape."
1. Chapter 1

The extent of our ignorance...the extent of our selfishness makes us forget a world that has been put into exile by our modern day society. We don't see these people clearly; we don't pay attention to those cast away from us; we forget those that don't affect us. But one day, we turn on the television after our regular meal and sink further into our seat, shocked by the bloody mess greeting us. Many find this gruesome state disgusting and flip the channel to watch a soap opera that makes us feel good inside. Others linger on this news report, barely glimpsing at the screen as they settle in for dessert. The bloody mess is a girl named Ally Dawson, but the audience hadn't paid enough attention to realize this, as her name was mentioned only once, and never again. The attention of the audience is given to the pretty reporter as she explains the situation.  
There had been a fight in a mental institute located near the country sides, a place where nobody would ever go. And this fight would bring out, from the shadows, a truth that was to hit the general public right smack in the face, and from the darkness where nobody would even try to explore, was none other than a twisted love.

Date: September 3rd, 2011

Situation: Unstable; interview with murderer

Motivation/conflict: Unknown

Death: 1, a man by the name Austin Moon.

Witness account: 1, guard, from the window.

"I don't know anything! I'm just a guard! But... well, he hit her... and she hit him. Blood was on the windows, but the weird thing is, neither threw curses at each other. It was a fight, but it was a silent fight. No grunts, no groans; it even seemed graceful for a while, until you noticed the blood."

Ally Dawson : 17, Female

"_I've seen them… I've seen them die, and still, nobody remembers them. The carved names on the graves are people with a wandering soul, a soul rejected by even their loved ones. They leave no memory; they leave no trace, for they are seen as unworthy to leave a footstep. Nobody listens to the words of the mentally unstable."_

"_I hear voices, but those voices don't tell me to kill. Your 'normal' people are starting __wars, killing millions on billions at a time… and ____you__ call ____us__ insane."_

Austin Moon : 18, Male_  
_

_"Nothing hurts more than knowing that that sun is out of reach. I can withstand that pain though. What tears me down, is the fact that you can't reach it either."_

"_You love me too, right? Then, please, make this end quicker… I want to see that sun. I want to feel that warmth. I want you to be with me…away from these bars."_

"She… doesn't seem at all crazy," Said the female police officer, barely audible as she was whispering.

"Shut up and listen to her story already, but you don't need to take down anything… her words are not accountable, after all, she _is_ coming from a mental institute."

"But wouldn't it be better to take record of it?"

"Record my ass. The real record will be what we get from the camera. This, this is just entertainment for the public. Watch her make a fool of herself."

**From the person who brought you "All for Austin"... Hai. New story. This is a bit of a sneak peek to it. I'll probably update tomorrow or something (depends on when I can get this done. **


	2. Chapter 2

Something didn't feel right. Ally Dawson sat herself across from the two officers, who seemed rather content sitting there sipping their coffee. They didn't offer her a cup, nor did they address her or even acknowledge her presence.

"Hello, Sir, Madam," She said pleasantly, bowing her head as if they were old acquaintances meeting on the street. The female officer looked up and smiled, rather tightly, towards Ally. The male however, didn't even look up as he nodded curtly. There was something about this male police officer that bothered Ally… ah… the air of arrogance engulfing him.

He was one of those people. In 'those,' Ally meant a larger number of the general public: the ignorant few that were stupidly confident in their beliefs too, even if their beliefs were not even close to the truth. What she hated most about these people was their inability to accept anybody else's opinion other than their own. These… were the people that would excuse her every word merely because she is from a mental institute.

All formalities had been excused when the police officers realized that both the victim and the accused murderer were patients of a mental institute. It's not that he was prejudice, or even discriminatory, but modern society had described the mentally unstable in such a way that he didn't second the thought that maybe the mentally unstable patients may be just as intelligent as himself.

As desperate as she wanted to be in this position right now, she couldn't help but keep quiet in front of these police officers; she couldn't find words to represent what she was feeling, but for sure, 'calm and serene' would not be amongst those words. She silently smacked herself in the head as she realized this had been what she and Austin had been working to achieve this…. Was where she wanted to be? Here she was, as lonely as could be, but as determined as any other.

But no, she was not to speak in front of these officers. She glanced over at the pen and paper settled onto the hardwood table, and realized they probably hadn't even bothered to plan writing up what she said. If she wasn't going to be treated like a criminal with all of her rights, then no way would she be speaking to these people.

"What do you have to say for yourself, Ms. Dawson?"

Ally smiled, crookedly, much like the smile Austin would throw at her when he was unhappy and didn't want to tell her. Before he fainted into the pool of blood on the ground, his smile had not been this crooked smile. Ally took comfort in noticing this small detail. He had not regretted it, so neither would she.

However, no words left her mouth. This was not the right place, nor the right time. There were too little people; this room trapped her like the jail she was inside for most of her life.

No, this time, even if it was her last act, she would make sure the world heard her. The world would hear the words both she and Austin wanted to say.

And like that, hours passed, with the impatience of the police officers brimming over the edge when they realized Ally had her eyes closed, probably having fallen asleep.

"Sir," The female officer, named Cassidy, whispered to the chief police officer, her eyes wandered warily over to Ally before she continued. "I think she's not going to say anything, and it's time to transport her to her cell."

With this, Ally's eyes flashed open and for once, she was scared again. Was she to enter another jail cell without getting her words out? Yes, she had prepared to suffer consequences, but she didn't even say what she wanted yet.

"The case is closed. She killed the other man. We shall arrange for an interview tomorrow." The chief's words were curt, his voice dipping a note lower than he would usually speak. He was embarrassed: he had just been shown up by a mental patient he was laughing at not seconds ago.

"Let's just close this case as soon as possible. It's just news not many people care for…"

Ally followed obediently behind the two, her hands handcuffed behind her back. Yes, she still had tomorrow. And for the time being, her smile reached her eyes.

When the light reached her eyes, Ally realized that it wasn't the sun, but instead, a young man shining a flashlight in her eye. A saddened look touched his eyes as he realized she was staring at him.

"Don't be scared, I'm just here to check you up before they take you to the press conference."

Her face remained expressionless, but she watched with curiosity as the young man hustled up and down the cell with various equipment, while the nurse stood outside beside a big, beefy police officer. Obviously, she had been put under heavy supervision. She was probably considered 'dangerous' too.

"Would you believe me if I tell you something about the fight?" Ally asked suddenly, cocking her head to the side and coughing as he sat her upright.

"Of course," He answered, but not looking her in the eye.

This was how the rest of the world was, she wondered. They would kindly smile at her, but on the other hand never treat her as an equal. Never would they listen to what she has to say. But she had to say it.

The rest of the check up ended up being a mere blur as Ally once again retreated into her shell, preparing for the moment where she stands in front of all the cameras.

She moved slowly from the car to the stage where she would sit, like a deer in headlights when the reporters would bombard her with questions.

But she had no intention of letting them speak today. It would be her speaking today, and only her.

"Hi, miss Ally Dawson," The girl reporter smiled, but she didn't smile back. She didn't like this woman; there was something phony to her smile. Maybe the way she seemed to slur her words as if Ally didn't understand.

Moments later, the press con started off in an awkward silence, with Ally sitting there recollecting her thoughts once again.

Images from the day before flitted across her head, and she finally started to wonder what would've happened if circumstances weren't so fitting.

The day before hadn't seemed promising at first, as she had awoken to the sounds of a faint storm brewing, but it was the whimpering from the cell next to her own that made her alert.

Austin was crying.

"What's wrong?" she had asked quietly, sneaking her hand between the bars of the small door to hold his.

He was cold, she noticed immediately.

"What's wrong?"

She couldn't see his face, as the slits between the bars only allowed her to slip her slim hand vertically through it; the doctors were especially strict these days. She didn't remember ever seeing his face, only glimpsing at it once when he was led past her door to the medical center.

Austin had always been susceptible to diseases. He was not weak, just preoccupied with things other than his health.

She didn't mind though; his face didn't matter, his physical condition didn't matter; to Ally, Austin was the thing that brought her out of her misery.

She too remembered that once, she had a family. Once, she had people that loved her. It wasn't until the doctors and the schools determined her to have severe depression and hallucinations were she sent here. Her parents couldn't afford the treatment, so they put her in the hands of the government, abandoning her altogether.

At the beginning, she was 7 years old, nothing but a child. Yes, she swore that she heard voices tell her right from wrong, answers to tests, and shout philosophical questions regarding God and The Devil, but at the same time, she still hugged her teddy bear to sleep, and woke up crying from nightmares about monsters under her bed.

At first, she had been utterly alone.

But then she met Austin.

He had heard her screaming throughout the night, and had stuck his hand in to say hello. Of course, she freaked out in the beginning, and swore that he was a monster.

He hadn't gotten mad, and explained to her that she had left all monsters at her old home, and that here, he was a new friend.

She didn't understand the meaning of friend, as she never had one, but she found his voice very nice to listen to. He would tell her stories, and sometimes, they were fairy tales with happy endings.

Their friendship was valued, but there came one day when she realized why he was caged here with her. It had been a month since they met, and every night she fell asleep to one of his stories. But there came a morning when he didn't reply her.

It was as if he suddenly disappeared. That night though, she heard him screaming, screaming for the shadows to leave him alone, screaming at something she knew nothing about. It seemed as if he was screaming… at himself? Yes, he feared the darkness just as much as she did. He was born into this mental institute by a mentally retarded mother, but even so, he found the depths of this jail scary. He comforted her, with his sweet voice, even if it was full of stutters and stammers, but there she was, a young girl that didn't know what to do.

She held his hand momentarily, but his body was suffering from spasms as he yelled out in suffering. Why didn't anybody come to his aid? Weren't they here to help him?

The spasms subsided, and she found that she couldn't sleep for as long as he couldn't.

And thus the friendship grew. They met when she was 7 and he was 8, but before they knew it, she was 17 and he was 18.

On the morning that she awoke to his screams, she immediately held his hand to comfort him. This was not a habit; it was the only way they could feel each other's presence. Too much of their life was spent in a haze; only true touch convinced them of its reality. Even then, sometimes they doubted themselves.

"_I've… I've b-b-be-been th-th-think-ing about w-w-what y-you were say-saying last w-week." Austin trembled, gripping Ally's hand tighter towards himself. _

_Truthfully, it hadn't been the first time they talked about the outside world. Many times before, Ally had relived her experiences climbing a tree and playing under the sun with Austin, and he had always listened closely, never questioning or getting tired of listening to them. _

_He had always wondered about the world outside where he lived; that was why he loved stories so much. They spoke of a world he never got to experience. He could make up as many stories as he wished, but he would never know the truth. _

_At times, Ally grew depressed thinking about the world outside. She found it ironic how she came to a mental institute to receive care and treatment to get better from her mental illnesses, but instead, from the mental institute she developed a depression worse than any other illness prior to her admission. _

_With time, both she and Austin had grown thirsty for the world outside. It was a world they deserved too, right? Why couldn't they climb the trees, chase the squirrels? When had they become nonexistent in this world? _

_With this desperation for freedom, for anything else other than this cage, the talks of escaping grew more and more frequent. _

"_Don't think about it anymore, Austin…" she sighed, as it pained her to tell him to stop doing something she longed for every single moment of the day. _

"_I…I w-want t-to c-climb t-t-t-trees too…" He cried the tears out of desperation rather than pain. _

"_We'll never get out, Austin. We aren't allowed anything sharp, or with an edge! Our rooms are cushioned! Food bowls and cups are Styrofoam. They go by every possible method to ensure that we can never escape! The… the only way we can leave… is on a stretcher, after being certified dead. Even then, we only get buried on the land here, our graves almost nameless, as nobody remembers it." Ally hated saying this, because it crushed her dreams as much as it crushed Austin's. "And I can't stand seeing you die, Austin. I can't stand not having you…" She finished miserably, using her free hand to brush off the tears flowing down her cheek._

_He seemed like he wanted to say something, but his door swung open at that exact moment, with a guard hauling him onto his feet. "Your door has been deemed to have some problems; we are moving you to the cell next door for a little bit." _

_When Austin was pushed into her cell, his gaze couldn't be any surer. He knew what he wanted, and destiny had given them a chance to leave, even if it was just for seconds. _

_Ally had been fascinated by the way Austin looked, just as sweet and innocent as she had imagined him to be. He wasn't tainted; he was pure. He was who she loved. _

_He sat, stunned at seeing Ally for the first time. He had never imagined how she looked like, for even her voice assured him of his sanity. But here she was, her dark hair softly framing her face, where cheekbones jutted out uniquely. Her eyes were wide, and tears were lingering on the edge of her lashes, the result of her worry for him. _

"_Someone must see the world… if not us…then at least tell them what we want. Tell them what we go through. Make them hear us." Austin whispered, this time stutter-free, as he wrapped his arms comfortably around her shoulders. _

"_We can't get out!" Ally screamed, not fearing the guards over-hearing them, for once. They would like hearing something like this; it assured them of their power over the patients. _

"_Unless…we die," Austin finished, gently tugging at Ally's arms so that she turned to look at him. "Unless we die." _

"_We die and nobody hears what happens to us!" she cried, grasping at his sleeve, trying to make sense of the determination in his eyes. _

"_One… one of us dies; the other the murderer…They will have to take the murderer to trial… to jail!" All of it started to click together in Austin's head, and he suddenly saw everything clearly. He trembled as he said the words, but he didn't stutter. Why? It was too clear in his head. He read from his mind like he read a book. _

_No, he was no longer unsure of what to say. He was no longer scared. _

"_This isn't a story that you can just make up!" Ally whispered, trying to cover his mouth with her hand. _

_He grasped her hand and looked her truthfully in the eye. _

"_Help me, I hate this world." He begged, crushing her to him as he hugged her. "Let me say goodbye by making my own choice of when to leave this place." He whispered, though his stutter had come back, and it took him quite a while to get his point across. _

"_How?" she gave in, as realistically, she was as desperate as he was. _

"_We fight. Whoever is standing at the end will speak for all of us that are trapped here. We must fight truthfully, and it must be… fatal." _

_Both Austin and Ally fought with their lives, quite literally, as the two knew the first to die was the first to be free. Austin wanted to set Ally free, but she wanted to set him free. _

_None of the blows hurt, and none of the blood shed seemed like a loss. They were smiling. Finally, they were fighting for themselves. They could finally make a choice. The choice to leave. _

She smiled bitterly at the memory of what happened, and she was suddenly shocked by the appearance of all the cameras around her. She had been too engrossed in her own memories.

"It is sad how Austin and I had to fight to our death to be listened to. Maybe you won't believe this, but Austin told me one thing, and that's to carry on a message. Please, take a moment of your precious time, the time you use to sit there and listen to one song."

"I don't exist to people like you, the people on the other side of this camera, peering disgustedly at my bloody, tattered clothes. I am nothing, nothing of importance. Politely, and to make yourselves feel better, you say that you mean to help us, to help us become better, but how can you, when all you do is trap us behind bars, so we cause no trouble to you? You want to help us? Then tell us what is wrong with us. Hallucinations, words in our heads, voices speaking to us, and did we do you any harm? You feel safe in your warm beds with your lover beside you. We, we sleep alone in empty cots, waiting for a day to leave. You know when that day will come? That day will come when they carry us sideways out the door in a coffin… and the funny thing is then, even then, nobody remembers the person they were trying to 'help.' We just want to leave. You don't know how insanity works, so don't dare tell us we are insane. By all means, you can be the crazy ones, and we may be the sane. But no, you never hear our side of the stories. You say the voices in my head are hallucinated, but do you hear them? Do you hear what they tell me? And here, you force me to show you the extent of what you expect. You expect me to be crazy, so here, I kill. Here, I will shed blood, so I can get my words out. Here, I tell you, I loved him too. Why I killed him, you would ask. Why did we try to beat each other to death? Well, this is our only way of escape."

With these words, her expression grew serene. The voices repeating those words in her head faded, and all she could remember was him.

He… he didn't like to speak to anybody else, and the way his words were always stuttered and slurred made people think of him as mentally retarded. He didn't do math, and he couldn't compose poetry, but he was far more loving than anybody she had ever met.

Many times, his reactions were slow, and he didn't understand things until she repeated them several times, but he was always content with just listening to her voice.

But then he started to understand. He started to see what she saw. He saw the sun beyond the bars of the window. He understood what she meant when she said there was a world outside their dreaded jail.

"This is the only way we can escape together." She whispered, now giving into the last of the whispers in her own head. She grabbed the police man's neck and started strangling him.

Guns fired at her from all directions.

"I made it outside. We… made it outside."

But still, the news report ends with the police trying to gain face.

"And insanity claims another two lives." The news reporter sighed, but her face was composed, as she was ignorant enough to ignore every single word Ally had said. After all, to her, Ally Dawson's words were nothing but garble from a baby's mouth: Sweet enough for you to listen to the sound, the rises and breaks in her voice, but far not enough to make her ponder the meaning.

Ignorance can only be ignorance to a certain extent, because afterwards, it becomes a lie you tell yourself.

This was just another bitter lie.

* * *

**Okay...So I lied. I updated this right away because I just finished and thought a special treat for you guys. This is supposed to be a oneshot really, but I decided to include a chapter of Austin's Point of View. It seems like fun so... yeah.**

**Comment on what you think about this story. I'd love to hear what you have to say.  
**


	3. Chapter 3

As I crumpled to the ground, my hand instinctively went to clutch at my heart. Why, why did it have to be now that the familiar dull ache spread across my chest? I couldn't be weak at this point. I must be strong! Well, I had to at least be strong enough to set Ally free first.

The rustic scent of my own blood reached my nose, and I felt my treacherous body spasm at the attacks. I was immobile on the ground already, and my gasps were the only things that filled the empty silence. But as my ears started to clear up, and I heard more than a funny buzzing sound, I was made aware of the commotion going on around me.

A distance away, I saw Ally being restrained by the two large guards. I opened my mouth to call at her, to calm her hysteria, but nothing came out. I then tried to swallow, but a mouthful of slimy blood sliding down my throat made me gag. The gagging didn't stop, so I tried to cough. Blood smeared at the green grass that swirled closer and closer until I fell upon my own pool of blood.

The paramedics hoisted me up roughly, but hardly as roughly as the guards at the hospital had handled me. When had they pushed me out the door and onto a stretcher? I was too busy keeping track of how far she was away from me. Her screams were getting farther and farther away. I didn't know if it was me or her drifting away. I felt my head go light, and I allowed the paramedics push me back onto the stretcher.

It was a sunny day, as the storm had cleared almost as soon as the ambulance had gotten here. I do believe that the sun wanted to shine at least once for me before I leave. I looked up, trying to locate Ally's face amidst the havoc surrounding us, but instead, the sun glared down at me from heavens above, and it blinded my eye. I'm not good at words, but all I can say is that this feeling is beautiful. Even as the heat scorched my bloodied wounds, I couldn't help but blink in its direction, bathe in its glory.

How had I thought of this plan so late? How could I miss out on this beauty? Maybe to you outsiders, I seem like a crazy lunatic obsessed with the sun, and to an extent, you are completely right. I laugh at your ignorance though, for not seeing what beauty lies before your eyes. Please do not take this paradise for granted, as I would know, for I just came from Hell.

I tried to enjoy the sunlight, admire the gaze. I couldn't enjoy anything without Ally next to me. Finally, I worked up the energy to turn my head, trying to ignore the feeling of cracked ribs and bones. I didn't see her.

It suddenly hit me how much I loved her. Even as everything grew faint, and fuzzy, while my body numbed, the only thing I felt was her hand in mine moments before we started the fight. Subconsciously, I must understand that my fingers only brushed my own blood, but I was in enough of a weak state to give in to my hallucinations. From my illusion, I saw Ally's worried expression once more.

'Don't worry, Ally.' I whispered aloud, blood scratching at my throat. I know my hand held on tighter to nothingness, but I need lie to tell myself so that I wouldn't realize the absence of her hand in mine.

I blinked again, trying to clear the blood and sweat from my eyes, and looked down to see the faint glimmer of a diamond ring on Ally's hand. It would be the ring I give her when I propose to her. This hallucination is desperate, but I smile as brightly as I could, carried back into one of the stories I used to tell her.

'_The prince didn't move until the princess had fallen asleep. He kissed her on the cheek one last time, before the sun came up. It was his last chance, as once the morning rays made its way through the clouds, in the prince's place was a mere frog. The frog scampered away, ashamed of the appearance he had when the spell wore off, knowing for a fact that it was all a dream he made up, as maybe, he didn't deserve a happiness so long lasting. What he didn't know, was that moments later, when the sun's rays hit the princess, she woke up a frog as well. She too, devastated by the loss of her prince, ran into the forest, never to be seen again. Nobody speaks of the frogs' love story, because people only like things that are beautiful… as even in the fairytale Frog Prince, the frog ends up a prince. Everybody ignores those different from them, less beautiful than them.' _

The forgotten frog couple, the will-be-forgotten mental hospital lovers. It was destined for those not as beautiful to be forgotten. I felt my eyes glaze over, as I could see nothing more, and then I remembered that this fairytale didn't end happily ever after.

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**The End. It's not my best work...but I think it's good for all you people who just adore angst. Tell me what you think about it. I love looking at your comments**


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